Module 3 – Your mindset around your challenges
You will be blown away as to how much your mindset, your past traumas, your sex life and energy affects your health and thus the proper functioning of your pelvic floor.
Introduction to the mindset module
The power of your mind-body connection
I am going to encourage you to implement some strategies that will help you relieve your pain as quickly and easily as possible and not get trapped in the awful cycle of chronic pain and then the constant search for specialists, remedies and treatments. The information that I am going to share with you also goes for your struggles with incontinence.
It is quite possible that your pain and /or struggles with incontinence are associated with:
An obvious reason like you had a physical trauma to the area that is now in pain or is dysfunctional… you fell, you got hit, you got raped and that area of your body suffered horrible, horrible trauma.
It can be that there is pain or poor functioning muscles and you have somewhat of an idea of how or why
You don’t recall what could be the original physical cause of all of what you are struggling with
You may have had an emotional trauma that is the root cause of the pain. You may remember the emotional trauma but you never linked the emotional trauma to a physical presentation of a pain or incontinence
You may not remember an emotional trauma because it is buried so deep in your mind that you don’t even know it’s there…. but your body knows it! Every cell in your body remembers it and is holding onto it.
You could be living with constant real or perceived stress. Stress, be it real or perceived, physical or emotional has an effect on our physical body.
There is something called the fight or flight response. Your body responds to an alarming situation by:
Pumping out cortisol/adrenaline so that you can have the energy and focus to save your life by either fighting the danger or running away from it. Your tiny little adrenal glands, that are on the top of your kidneys, are to thank for the secretion of this powerful stuff.
Another response that is less known is that our pelvic floor muscles are the 1st muscles to fire up when there is a real or perceived threat.
These automatic responses are invaluable for our survival. The only thing is that this is an ‘’on/off’’ kind of process. If you are constantly stressed… physically, emotionally, real or perceived your system doesn’t know any better. It will do what it does when triggered so you will basically have the gas pedal to the metal and the brake on at the same time. You will exhaust and deplete those poor little glands. Your body will not only have tension in the 1st muscles that fire up, every other muscle and tissue will be tense and your nervous system will become over-stimulated.
At a certain point your system gets sensitized and no longer knows how to exist in a restful, repair and regenerate state. No wonder you end up in chronic pain… not just in one specific area but it seems like everywhere else too. It seems like you fix one thing then something else hurts…. it’s a never ending cycle.
If you are constantly stressed, your pelvic floor muscles are constantly contracted. They become hypertonic which means they are too weak because they are too tense. This may be the root cause of your incontinence!
If you want to find lasting relief from chronic pain and incontinence you need an approach that will require you to
Slow down, rest and rejuvenate!
Observe your thought and emotions. I did not say judge, harp on, or feel shame because of what you think or feel. Obsessive negative thinking and worrying , triggers the stress response in your body. You need to break free from obsessive negative thinking, worrying and damaging patterns of thought.
Learn how not to suppress your emotions, consciously or unconsciously. The energy required to suppress often leads to chronic tension, muscular contractions, and an over stimulated nervous system. Learning how to process our emotions in healthy ways allows our body to relax, and also gives us access to our body’s wisdom and intuition.
Become a student of your body and mind. Develop a deep inner listening so that you can hear and feel your true self. As a soul with a body, you have a lot more wisdom available to you than you are aware of. Your body and soul constantly give you guidance about what is right for you. It’s important to learn how to understand and trust this information in all aspects of your life, but especially when it comes to healing your body.
Give yourself permission to quiet down. This is your first step in this battle or journey. Much of the massage work that we will do will focus on learning to quiet down our body, becoming aware of specific body parts and perhaps discovering blind spots; those sensations that you never knew you had. You will become intimate with parts of your body so that you will have a new awareness and ability to self-soothe. This process is priceless. I will talk more about this in the massage section.
Accept your past experiences and let them go. I love a mantra that I personally needed to repeat often: I am now ready to submit to the process that I have to go through to be released from my past hurts and the limiting beliefs that were created because of them. Or, as Peter Bernard, Algonquin Shaman says: ‘’Back away from the story and nobody gets hurt’’
Adjust how you treat yourself on a regular basis
Figure out what changes that you can make in yourself and your life that will relieve tension, calm down your nervous system, increase blood flow, and relieve your pain.
Adopt a way of living that will be much less about pushing your way through the world trying to make things happen rather, ask yourself: What do I deeply enjoy. What is my bliss what is my joy. Are there places in my life where I may be living out of alignment with myself?
Make yourself and your healing a priority. You cannot give from an empty well, and at the same time relieve pain. Not possible! We need to learn how to let go of patterns of over doing, and taking care of everyone else except ourselves. These patterns not only perpetuate pain, in many cases they caused it in the first place. You can’t ignore yourself and your body for an extended period of time without physical consequences.
I am glad that you are making yourself a priority right now. Trust in yourself and trust in the process of letting go, quieting down and doing a mind-body re-set.
I remember the comment from one of my participants. She had that ‘’aha’’ moment and she energetically and excitedly spoke up during the workshop and said: ‘’ I am finally getting what you are asking me to do. You want me to relax’’ She said it in a way like she had never really connected to the power of that arguably easy thing to do. This was HER moment. SHE GOT IT! She no longer holds her stress (on a constant basis) in her body. She is well on her way to being continent.
Guidance from a mental health professional - Heidi Piotrowski
You can connect with Heidi and her team of counsellors by visiting her website
Guidance from a spiritual energy healer - Angelika Neidling
Connect with Angelika through her website
GREAT tips from a sex and intimacy coach - Tracy Wilson
You can connect with Tracy by going to her website
Introduction to the guided meditation